Be your biggest cheerleader.
Ladies, sometimes you have to be your biggest cheerleader in life.
Seriously.
This simple statement may sound silly but this is probably one of the most powerful life lessons I can share with you. It’s truly one of the most important lessons I have ever learned for myself. If I am not my own cheerleader, first and foremost, then what’s the point of my life? What’s the point of going after and accomplishing my goals and dreams? You know why because they are mine and it is my life.
Yes, I am grateful to have people in my life who support me in my victories and cheer for me. We are all human and of course, we all want validation or praise at certain points in our life. Perhaps for something we accomplished professionally, praised for a talent that we possess or maybe it’s by being an amazing friend, colleague, spouse or parent. It’s a wonderful thing to be celebrated and validated by those who love and support us. How wonderful it is to have that;
but it still always starts with you.
Sadly, there won’t always be people who will support, compliment or even cheer for you when you are doing well in life. Ironically it’s sometimes often from those you know and even from people you’ve known the longest. Don’t let this stop you, ever. It is hurtful? Absolutely. Remember, that is a reflection on them and it’s their issue, not yours. Also, if you aren’t your own and biggest cheerleader then why would other people want to genuinely support you as well? The more you believe in yourself and confident you are about your life choices and accomplishments, the more you will attract the right people that will want the best for your and cheer for you.
One of the most valuable lessons I learned over the years after being hurt by not having certain people support me, is that I consciously chose very early in on in life, to always be a huge cheerleader for everyone else. It makes you realize that little support for others truly can go a long way. After years of experiencing both, I learned about my own character because of both types of people. My gratitude is endless for the ones who were supportive and I became even stronger because of the ones who weren’t. Sometimes it wasn’t even about people you know not cheering me on, it was about the many years of experiencing life’s disappointing no’s, failures, setbacks, and rejections.
Despite all of these heartbreaking disappointments, in the long run, it made me know my true worth and I believed in myself even more. This isn’t always an easy journey to get to this peaceful and strong space, trust me. It’s like a muscle, it takes work to get to where you want to be. It can be very easy for people to become resentful, bitter or angry in the long term when not receiving what they dream of or even mutual support when they do.
I realized that no matter who was there for me or not, at the end of the day, I am my number #1 priority. I am the most important relationship I will ever have. So, making myself truly proud from any accomplishment is an important act of self-love.
But having friends, family, colleagues, a significant other and even strangers who are truly happy for me and proud of me, is a wonderful added blessed bonus. Remember to keep both in your heart and soul on your toughest days alone.
What are proud of most of what you accomplished in life? It could be a million different things, both big and small. You graduated from college. You applied for your dream job and got it. Then you got a promotion from that dream job. You moved into your very first apartment, all on your own. You took care of your sick parent. You went through chemo and survived cancer. You started a new worked out routine, ate right and lost weight. You overcame addiction. You celebrated a long-time milestone anniversary of sharing a happy and healthy life with your significant other or spouse. You and your spouse have raised your child or children into amazing capable human beings. You are a single Mom and your son or daughter is thriving in school. You are a single woman and you have traveled the world alone. You bravely ended a toxic relationship or marriage and are now on your own again starting over. You changed careers. You trained for a marathon. You learned how to cook. You took care of a friend in need. You earned your Masters Degree. You volunteered time at your favorite charity. You learned a new skill. You bought your first house, all on your own. You changed your first flat tire. You learned a new language. You started your first company. You painted your first painting. You started your garden. You finally did that one thing you were scared of your whole life and you finally overcame that fear. Whatever it was or will be, be proud of yourself as these accomplishments both small and big; helping you in by becoming a better, fulfilled, confident and happier you. I want to hear about something that made you proud of yourself. So please comment on this article, on Instagram or email me privately.
For me, it was writing my first book. I spent many years looking for someone to publish my work and not one publishing company would take a meeting or even write me back. When there was no professional support, I simply believed in my work, myself and this dream. I moved forward alone took control and self-published. Was this scary? Yes, absolutely but I did it anyway. When the book was finally published and I had some friends and family who didn’t congratulate or celebrate this accomplishment, I privately became my dam cheerleader. This mindset didn’t happen overnight. As I allowed my accomplishments to sink in to actually enjoy this time of completion; I learned to let go of the hurt of those unsupportive people, I realized what was important was that I did this for me. No one else. If they were supportive, fantastic. If not, oh well that is life, it is what it is.
Ironically, even after finally being proud of myself for publishing it and having a few special hometown book signings, I still had my own disappointments. My book sales were low and no professional writing opportunities followed. So, after much time had passed, I picked myself up again and realized I had to create my writing opportunities, yet again. This is how I founded Ladies’ Life Guide and my first ever online blog platform was born in August of 2018. I love writing and despite feeling like a huge failure about having my low book sales; the positive feedback that I did receive, made me want to still keep writing. Quality over quantity in having friends is so important. You can have a million “likes or loves” from people, but what’s important is you make yourself proud first. I want to continue sharing my life lessons and experiences - both personally and professionally - to inform and hopefully inspire others, especially young women.
So, I’ll say this again. Always be your BIGGEST cheerleader, first. Remember to stay true to yourself and have faith in yourself. Even on the difficult days, never give up on making your dreams happen. Go after them with all that you are and work hard until they all become a reality. Good things take time, so remember to honor those little steps every day. Celebrate the small victories, as they are still accomplishments. All of these small steps and victories are just as important as they will lead you to your big accomplishments and life-changing events and milestones. So, when they do happen;
Clap for your dam self.
Scream with enthusiasm from the loudest rooftop how proud you are of yourself.
Dance and sing to your favorite victory song with happiness and pride for yourself in your living room.
Toast yourself with your favorite drink and celebrate YOU, all on your own.
You know why? Because you are the one who made it happen. No matter what anyone says or doesn't say, no one can take away any accomplishment or dream that came true, away from you. Please know that I will always be cheering for you and with you; with much pride and just as loud. Here’s to year two of Ladies’ Life Guide officially being underway and I look forward to seeing where this wonderful journey together, takes us.
